Smarty Panties.November 15, 2010 - 3:16pm
Written by Rachel Fine
God bless you, September’s Miss Howard TV, Ashley Johnson. Like Buddha, Ashley has given me a mind bender to ponder for months, even years, to come. On this episode of The Bonus Show, she profoundly shares some insight into her inner being, telling us “I…in my mind…have a really big black d*ck. It’s just invisible.” I’ve spent a solid week trying to dissect this sentence and learn something meaningful from it. I got nothin’ yet. But you can’t rush these things and I promise to get back to you once her wisdom has truly sunk in and opened my eyes to this leading edge of thought. Shanti Shanti Shanti Ommmmmm….
In other news, I think Richard Christy is on to something. We’ve got footage of him discussing the Theory of Relativity. Ok, not that exactly, but the comparative effect of significant weight loss on the relative appearance of the size of his weiner. I’m fairly certain that’s what Einstein meant. I feel so smart right now!
You know what? Buddha? Einstein? I’ve clearly gone intellectual this week and I might as well keep it up as it applies to George Tekai. In the great (paraphrased/butchered) words of Shakespeare, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”. This week, George invokes that counterpoint as he discusses DePace’s potentially closeted sexuality, in light of Scott’s over-the-top insistence to the contrary.
Also this week, David Arquette gives Richard & Sal the art journal of a racist homeless man (modern-day DaVinci?), Baba Booey pontificates on the mailbag questions ‘of the people’ (a la the great Socrates), and much like Ludwig van Beethoven’s masterful orchestration, we watch Howard build the show behind-the-scenes in my favorite recurring segment, inside the Creative Meeting.
Ut quis is narro*,
*Latin for “That’s what she said.” **
**Do not ask me how long it took to translate that word-by-word. And don’t get all Latin grammar police on me. I know there are a hundred different words that each of these Latin words can mean and I ran online translations like 12 different times on multiple sites from Latin to English and back. And these 4 words can, in some instances, mean exactly (or sort of) what I’m trying to say.***
***My brain hurts.