By Lee Gerowitz/Howard TV Producer
The Sybian and Howard TV is a match made in heaven. Howard TV fans love watching Sybian rides – and producers such as myself love turning them into Howard TV shows.
There are exceptions to this, of course. Like the rare occasions when a oiled-up hermaphrodite or 117 year old grandmother decide to mount this bronco of pleasure that we have come to love so dearly.
But, for the purpose of this blog – and your appetite - we’re going to stay positive and not go down that road.
Instead, we’ll go down another road, one that takes us behind the scenes of the production for the Sybian documentary.
One of the first things I did when I started at Howard TV in July of 2006 was come up with a list of show ideas. At the top of that list was an idea to do a documentary on the history of the Sybian…not just on The Howard Stern Show, but also as a product that has been available to the public since 1987.
Fast forward to the fall of 2006, to a conversation I was having with Jason Sirotin, another Howard TV producer who I started with back in July. While discussing show ideas, we realized that we had both come up with the same idea for the Sybian show. Jason somehow managed to sneak in to pitch it to Doug. And, being the team player he is, he mentioned to Doug that I also had the same idea. Doug agreed to let us work on it together. Thus, a partnership of perverts was formed.
You see, in society, perverts are frowned upon. But at Howard TV, we come together and create television.
With the show now green lit, Jason and I came up with a game plan. First and foremost was contacting the creator of the Sybian, Dave Lampert, to see if he was interested in working with us on the show. Jason contacted Dave, who enthusiastically agreed to take part in our production.
Now that we had the creator of the Sybian on board, we immediately began to work on our creative vision of the show. Then, before we knew it, on November 11, 2006, we were off to rural Illinois to shoot with Dave Lampert at his Sybian factory.
After picking up our rental car at the airport, Jason and I drove 20 minutes through farmland to reach Dave’s place. When we arrived, we saw a sharp dressed man - in his 70’s, I might add - wearing a business suit. I might also add that Dave, at twice my age, is in 20 times better shape than I am.
The moment we knew we were going to shoot at Dave’s, I dreamt of walking into a factory with an assembly line full of gorgeous women riding Sybian after Sybian. But, my dream was just that – a dream. Matter of fact, Dave’s operation has just three full-time employees (two females, one male), none of whom wanted to be on camera for our production.
The Sybian factory, on the outside, looks like a rather ordinary, large garage. One would hardly know by its looks that on the inside were the components responsible for producing thousands, if not millions, of orgasms worldwide. On the inside is a simple, but neatly assembled factory. No stripper poles. No hidden room full of strippers…unfortunately.
Dave proceeded to give us a tour of his property, which he and his family also live on, and then we got down to business. First, we conducted a lengthy interview with Dave, who addressed topics that ranged from the Sybian’s history, how it should be used and his favorite Sybian rides on The Howard Stern Show. Next, we shot Dave taking us on a tour of the factory, showing us how the Sybian is assembled and what each part does. Those parts included many fake penises, many of which I felt in my own hands. I immediately became jealous of them. You can figure that one out on your own.
Once we got back to New York, we prepared for our next round of production, which was conducting interviews with everyone associated with The Howard Stern Show, from both Sirius and Howard TV. Being two of the newer guys associated with the show, this gave us the opportunity to interact with people that we hadn’t gotten to know too well yet. For me, it was my first time interviewing Howard, who like everyone else with the show, was more than happy to sit down with us and share his thoughts on the Sybian.
We also interviewed proud Sybian owner, world-renowned sex therapist and Penthouse Pet Victoria Zdrok, who was extremely pregnant and minutes away from giving birth. Figures…my first interview with a Penthouse Pet and she’s pregnant. Thankfully, the pregnancy=bigger breasts theory held true, which enhanced the interview for me a bit. That is, until I had to excuse myself in the middle of the interview to “go pee.” However, I was too embarrassed to tell her that I really needed to drop a deuce. How do you tell a pregnant Penthouse Pet that? So to recap, I interviewed a pregnant Penthouse Pet and almost had an accident in front of her. This is why Jason and I became a team…for moments like this. He transitioned into the interview chair for me, and I smoothly returned after my 10 minute “pee.” Oprah, I am not.
One hilarious part of our production was our shoot with Sal and Richard. While Jason and I wanted to treat this as a serious documentary, we also wanted to make sure that it maintained the humor everyone associates with The Howard Stern Show and Howard TV. So, we made the lovely couple dress in full-body spandex outfits, with Richard playing the role of the man and Sal the woman - just like on the radio show – and we shot Sal and Richard doing re-enactments of how a man should help his woman ride the Sybian. It’s something you honestly need to see to believe and it could very well the funniest part of our extremely funny documentary.
Our next major step in our production was the editing process, which would have to be completed in just three weeks. And right in the middle of it, I left Jason alone to go on a vacation that was planned before we knew our production schedule. So BIG props go out to Jason, who kept the motor running quite smoothly while I was gone.
I wouldn’t feel too sorry for Jason though. As I write this while wrapping up my vacation in the Midwest, Jason is wrapping up a shoot at a hotel room with Penthouse Pets Heather Vandeven & Linn Thomas. I won’t give away all of the details, but let’s say it includes both girls riding our personal Sybians. Let’s just say that I am still heartbroken over missing this. I guess that’s the price I pay for taking a vacation.
Another shoot Jason presided over while I was gone was with our host, Alan Sklar. Again, not to give too much away, but I think you will truly enjoy the tone of our host wraps for this show. Think of it as Bill Kurtis on A&E meets the movie Airplane. Jason and I are proud to say that we both wrote the host wraps, so if anyone in Hollywood is reading this, keep us in mind, you dig?
The making of the Sybian documentary, just like some of the best rides on The Howard Stern Show, has been rather smooth and enjoyable. Jason and I truly believe that, besides the Howard Stern Film Festival, it has been the most ambitious original production the channel has done. So make sure you tune in to Howard TV at the end of January, under the Wacky & Weird category, to check it out.
Until then, may the Sybian be with you.
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