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August 23, 2010 - 3:33pm
Written by Rachel Fine
On this episode of the Bonus Show, Ronnie & Sal debate which one of them is officially “The Mayor of Rick’s Cabaret”. And this got me thinking. What EXACTLY are the mayoral duties at Rick’s? Are they genuine legislative responsibilities? Or is it merely a figurehead position?
Let me back up. I’m going to be honest and say I have no clue what a Mayor actually does (besides the honorable Mayor McCheese), so I looked it up. Here’s what I found (my notes in [CAPS AND BRACKETS] are my personal translation of how I think these duties apply to the Mayor of Rick’s):
“While the size of the city may vary [COUPLE HUNDRED ON A GOOD NIGHT?], the mayor is always considered the head of a city, running the business and day-to-day administration. The mayor is responsible for promoting city beautification [HOT STRIPPERS] and recreation activities [THAT PUT OUT]. He should ensure the city is kept clean and orderly [LEGS SHAVED], with opportunities for citizens to experience a good quality of life [LAP DANCES] and enjoy good health [CRAB FREE]. As the executive in charge of budgeting, the mayor's duties include recruiting [STRIPPER AUDITIONS] and retraining businesses for the city [POLE DANCE LESSONS]. In addition, the mayor should make goodwill and public appearance events [YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!].”
Ok, I got a little caught up on this bit. It’s endless hours of fun, I’m not even kidding. But there are a ton of other things to look forward to on this week’s episode of the Bonus Show. Baba Booey’s Mail Bag is back, DePace pranks Jason, and Medicated Pete gives us some sort of disturbing goodbye dance/freestyle rap.
And I don’t want to let the cat out the bag (because every time I do it shits on my floor), but we just shot new and improved segments with the one and only Techno Beaver. Look for them shortly in upcoming shows.
Enjoy!
Rachel
Teach a man to fish.
August 17, 2010 - 11:11am
Written by Rachel Fine
I know we devoted an entire episode of The Bonus Show to Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund last week. So I really wanted to cover ANYTHING ELSE in this week’s blog. But I can’t, in good conscience, leave this little gem out and not open it up to further discussion. On this week’s episode, Ronnie admits to (SPOILER ALERT!) having some secret desires about Lisa G. When asked how this little fantasy plays out in his mind, he answers the following:
“It’s like this bad boy thing, where I just walk up to her and grab her and say ‘Listen Lisa, the bullshit is over and it’s time. I’ll take you out to dinner first if you want, whatever you want, or we can order in and have a nice… you know, watch a movie and then…you know, do it.”
I want to utilize this blog as a Public Service Announcement to my male readers. Here we go.
There is absolutely NOTHING even remotely hot in the above written statement. Let’s break it down.
A) “the bullshit is over and it’s time”. This is creepy on multiple levels. It’s almost Mel Gibson-esque.
B) “I’ll take you out to dinner first if you want”. Gee, thanks. How generous. Let me guess, drive thru?
C) “Or we can order in and have a nice… you know, watch a movie and then…you know, do it.” Like the great William Shakespeare, you’ve managed to warm my heart with your prose, Ronnie. Bravo.
Whatever. He’s Scoresman. He’s about meeting girls, he’s about meeting guys. He’s about having a good time. But seriously, I bet his own hand would turn him down with that wrap.
Moving on! Try as he might, Benjy cannot understand Will’s sex appeal, as discussed on yet another compelling Bonus Show clip. What’s so hard to understand about it, Benjy? Will is totally cute. Maybe universally cute? Ladies, weigh in on this one. Am I alone here? Is Will cute enough to even pull off Ronnie’s pick up lines?
Also fascinating, JD discusses his thing for big booties. And you know what? I’m not judging him. I’ll go on record as saying in my book, Kim Kardashian has the hands-down best body in Hollywood. Out with the scrawny girls! She’s super curvy and smoking hot. I appreciate a man who can appreciate that! Oh wait- let me clarify, JD- big butts are only hot on girls. I don’t want you doing anything drastic to your rump to get my attention.
Other stuff to look forward to this week- we get to go inside another Creative Meeting, Little People are a BIG debate and our Robotic Camera Operator Brian Phelan shares another G-rated joke with us. Not to be missed my friends.
Enjoy!
Rachel
Mr. “Mambo” Mund.
August 3, 2010 - 10:16am
Written by Rachel Fine
Ronnie is a unique kind of man. A man so profound and intellectual, so well spoken and introspective. A true gentleman. He’s taught us so many things about the world. Like how to dress, what sorts of cologne really get a woman going and most importantly, how to practice patience and civility in any situation.
It was only fitting that we dedicate an entire episode to Ronnie so that we might pay proper respect to his tinted glasses, the way he attends so lovingly to the bathroom and that special bond he shares with Will Murray. When I first heard we’d be shooting an homage to this pillar of greatness, all I could do was gutturally wail “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” and run to a strip club.
This very special Ronnie Tribute episode of The Bonus Show is one to write home about.
Let’s F some W’s,
Rachel
John…Call me.
July 26, 2010 - 11:41am
Written by Rachel Fine
On this week’s episode of The Bonus Show, Benjy goes on record with a highly controversial statement. And I admire it. It takes great character and strength to make profound sweeping generalizations and then blindly stand behind them. According to him, “every woman in the world is sexually attracted to John Stamos”. I want to disagree, but I’m having trouble. John’s hot. I’m not sure he’s hotter than Brad Pitt or George Clooney, as Benjy attests, but he’s 100% hot. 112% hot. And I’d be surprised to meet a chick who disagrees on this one. Benjy, congratulations. You’re essentially an authority on hot men.
We “Blast from the Past” this week and watch MC Hammer & Emmanuel “Webster” Lewis describe the absolute necessity of bringing a “Howard Towel” with you if you ever get to go on the show. When I ponder what a “Howard Towel” could possibly be, my brain is literally overwhelmed with the million moments in the studio that could potentially benefit from/absolutely require the presence of a towel and/or a hot mop. Watch this week to find out exactly how Hammer intends to use his.
Also intriguing this week, Gary calls Sal a pedophile. Wait wait wait- not “a pedophile”…”LIKE a pedophile”. I’ll leave it up to you to distinguish the difference. I found them remarkably similar, as did Sal.
And there’s even more Bonus Show! Richard Christy (with pants STILL on!!!) shares a drunken Beetlejuice tale, we go behind the scenes at Beth O’s book signing, and FOR ONCE the focus is on Sal’s knockers instead of mine! In a true “Sal Gone Wild” moment, he unleashes his flabby tits in the middle of a Stern Show Creative Meeting. Aren’t you so glad we have this footage?!
Enjoy!
Rachel
Photos by Chris Gagliardi.
Bios
Jon Hein
Jon Hein is a world renowned pop culture expert who coined the term "jump the shark" and created the website jumptheshark.com. Jon has appeared on numerous television and radio programs, been profiled in popular magazines and newspapers, and has authored two best-selling books. Jon is currently part of The Howard Stern Show and hosts The Wrap Up Show for SiriusXM Satellite Radio, and can be seen as a talking head on a variety of news and entertainment programs.
Rachel Fine
Along with being a TV Host, Rachel Fine is a singer/songwriter from Brooklyn, New York. She has a background in acting, performed in four national tours and sang National Anthems for major sporting events. She has recently released her debut album, Own Your Own, reflective of the sounds of 70s funk, Philly Soul, broken beat and hip hop. The CD is available on iTunes.
Please check out Rachel’s official website at www.rachelfine.com to find links to Rachel’s Twitter, MySpace, YouTube and Facebook pages.