October 26, 2010 - 5:13pm
Written by Rachel Fine
Per the Control Room clock, we’ve got Bonus Show footage of Benjy arriving at 5:59:30. No sh*t. Benjy, I actually adore you. So I’m going to withhold from verbally kicking your ass right now. I will however, provide some legitimate suggestions that might be helpful.
1) Get 5 alarm clocks. Seriously, 5. Put them all over your house, none within reaching distance of your bed. Set them all for the exact same time in the morning so you’re not subconsciously waiting for each one to go off before you get up. Set em for your ideal time (let’s call that “X”) to get up, get ready and get to the studio with plenty of time to spare.
2) Pay the doorman to call you 15 minutes later (X + 15). If you don’t answer, pay him a bonus to come up and bang on your door at X + 20. (If you don’t have a doorman, get one.)
3) Give your neighbor keys to your house. If he hears a ruckus of banging at X + 20 in the morning, pay him to come over, let himself in and PUNCH YOU AWAKE.
If this is all too much to coordinate, I am seriously offering my services as a “House Manager” of sorts to help you get these fail safes set up. I’m going to charge you an effload. But from a cost/benefit perspective, I think it’ll pay for itself in the long run.
In other news, Jason Kaplan struggles with new information leading him to believe that his “go to” sex move is unwelcomed. I want to put your mind at ease, Jason. Not every chick hates it, that’s all I’m saying. I’m choosing not to elaborate here- tune in to this compelling Bonus Show clip to learn more (about me, apparently).
Sal shares a little speed bump in his relationship that involves accidentally throwing a remote control at Christine, (his wife’s), head. In fairness, he threw the remote and then the battery back disengaged, sending battery shrapnel in all directions. Remember kids- easily dislodging battery packs from remotes don’t kill people. People kill people.
Also on this week’s episode of The Bonus Show, Lisa G. spends time on the red carpet, Richard questions Ralph’s personal style and (in an unrelated clip) tries to lick Ronnie’s umm, nether regions.