I’d like to thank the Academy.
July 20, 2010 - 11:37am
Written by Rachel Fine
If you’ve ever wanted to smack Jon Hein in the face, I think you will genuinely love this episode. Mostly because (SPOILER ALERT!) he’s going to get smacked, it’s going to be in the face and it’s going to be by me. I won’t tell you why, although I think we can all agree he says a plethora of smack worthy things to me on a weekly basis, so Mr. Hein- and his face- have it coming. Jon, my Telly Award Winning friend, I love to hate you & I hate to love you (slight emphasis on hate).
We go inside the world of celebrity appearances this week with a clip of the one & only Beetlejuice at an autograph signing. Who HASN’T thought about going to meet The Purple Hammer in person?! Well, apparently we’ve all only THOUGHT about it, because no one showed up for poor Beet. I tend to be a silver lining type person (sort of like the sterling silver exterior on a Telly statuette), so it’s nice that Beet got a chance to brush up on his darts game at the empty bar. It’s particularly nice that we’ve got footage.
I’m not an Amish model. I’ve settled for being a simple Telly Award Winning Television Host. But if I were an Amish model, I think I would probably refuse to let Sal test my pop culture knowledge because I’d have the self-awareness to recognize that I would look like a complete moron (Not MORMAN, Moron...don't worry, common mistake).
Luckily, the Amish model on this episode of The Bonus Show was more than willing to take her best guess at things like the source of the infamous “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” movie quote. Sadly, it wasn’t Sarah Jessica Parker's line. You were THISCLOSE, hot Amish model!! In fairness though, I can’t churn butter for shit. If Parkay, Country Crock and Land O’Lakes all go out of business, it looks like you’ll have the last glorious laugh.
Also glorious-laugh worthy this week- Bababooey’s Mail Bag is Back, Richard pontificates on the splendid smell of his sweaty balls and the guys on the Wrap Up Show get yelled at mercilessly by our loving and supportive fan base. All this and more on the TELLY AWARD WINNING BONUS SHOW!!!!!
Rachel “Telly Award Winner” Fine
PS- In case you missed my subtle references, The Bonus Show won a Telly for comedy series. Jon, myself, and the third & fourth cast members (aka my knockers) couldn't be happier